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Tuesday, November 26, 2013

Always attached

A judge inspects execution of sentences
district hotheads. He sees a
prisoner in chains and asks: So, my boy, you're enjoying
here? Another sneers: Yeah, it's a place where I am
always attached!

One-way road

A policeman calls a blonde after have surprise to roll in reverse
on a one-way road and it request: Do you know where you were going?
The blonde replied:  No, but wherever it is,
 it should not be good because all the people were going away.

Sunday, November 17, 2013

Convicted

You did not feel anything when you
have your wife cut into pieces
before turning to cook? asks judge convicted.
Yes, yes! At one point I started to cry.
Ah, anyway! And when? When I cut onions ...

Two fools want to escape

Two fools want to escape from the asylum Then one of them said.:
Look, I'll turn on the flashlight, you'll get
on the beam, and you jump over the wall!
And the other replies:
You take me for a fool? When I'm in the middle, you're off!

I can walk there!

An old man dies in bed.
Her children around
and start talking about the funeral.
They vacillate between
a funeral first, second or third class.
At the beginning, as they like their father, they are unanimous
for a first-class funeral, but as and when the discussion, wallet speak and we arrive at a third-class burial in the pit common. The old man stands up and starts yelling: If you want, I can walk there!

Like a pig!

The family is at the table, and Toto, the son eats badly.
Father:
-Do you really eat like a pig!
The son:
-Huh?
Father:
You know at least what is a pig?
The son:
Yes, he is the son of a pig ...

Infusion!

This is the story of three vampires who are in a bar.
The first vampire orders a glass of warm blood.
The second order a glass of blood cold.
The third order a glass of water hot!
The other two look and ask him the question:
Why a glass of hot water?
The third answer:
-I found a buffer, I'm going to infusion!

What is the policy?

A boy asks his father :
Papa , I have to make a presentation at school
is that I can ask you a few Questions?
Yes of course , go on what you want know?
- What is the policy?
The father thought for a bit and then starts:
- Well, here , take as an example our home.
I am an employee , so I win
money, so call me " Capitalism" .
Your mother is the administrator of the estate , call it "government" .
We need to take care of you and meet your needs ,
therefore thou art " the people."
Good call " the working class " and your little sister
which has only one year , " the future."
Is it clearer now ? Little thought and said:
- I am not very sure, but I 'll think.
That night, awakened by the cries of his sister , the boy
will see what is wrong.
Discovering that her younger sister seriously filled his bed
little goes to his parents' bedroom ,
and seeing that his mother is asleep , he will see
in the maid's room , where througha keyhole ,
he sees his father jumping the good .
The little one is so disgusted by what he saw it returns
in his room and went back to bed .
The next morning breakfast will see its father :
- That's it Dad, now I think I
understand what it is that policy.
- Very good son ! Tell me
Now with your own words .
- Well, while Capitalism
fuck the Working Class ,
The Government is deeply
asleep, the People are completely
ignored and the Future is in deep shit ...

Big teeth

Papa, Papa! At school, they all say
I have big teeth! This is not
true, huh?
-No, no, do not cry! and
raises its head, you strikeouts the floor!

The church is on fire

The church is on fire. 47 fire brigade
Sprinkle fire.
The priest sits slumped on a prie-
God who escaped the disaster
and he looks at the horizon of a desperate air.
So, a good sister pushes him
its choirboys
to scowl and she blows him
-Go and tell Monsieur le Cure you
sorry ...

Lost at poker

A guy comes home one night and told her woman
Honey, you'll be required to prepare
your suitcase and go to another, I've lost at poker!
Collapsed, she asks: But how did this happen?
The guy tells him:
- I cheated!
 

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